I'm so sick of forgetting myself to remember who I am.

Let's try some thoughts of my own. I have been just putting a crapload of lyrics in my blog for lack of wanting to whine to you about my thoughts. The mind of a person with bipolar disorder tends to function a little weirder than most peoples. What I dislike is people telling me that I am perfectly capable of being normal and tricking my brain into thinking normally. I am prone to little fits of rage that I can't control. I also just spew this insane shit from my mouth at times. Like insults to people, insults designed to hurt. Wonder why I am single? Well wonder no more. I kind of liken it to a kind of Tourettes. Other times I am sweet as can be, but there are times I can be a real hurtful prick. And that people can assume that I can fix it or control irritates me. If they had it maybe they would understand it. If anybody out there has something similar and they have any advice to share that may be helpful I would appreciate it. I know I have whined in the past that I want to go on medication for this, but I am still working up the courage to do it. I have heard too many horro stories about the side effects. Oh well, thats my day. Maybe I will leave you with some lyrics since that is what I seem to like to do.
Let's see, ah, I have a good one.

If I laugh just a little bit
maybe I can forget the chance
that I didn't have to know you
and live in peace, in peace

If I laugh just a little bit
maybe I can forget the plans that
I didn't use to get you
at home -- with me -- alone

If I laugh just a little bit
maybe I can recall the way
that I used to be, before you
and sleep at night -- and dream
If I laugh, baby if I laugh
just a little bit --