I'm so sick of forgetting myself to remember who I am.

Went out last night and drank a little too much. Went to bed at 4am and I find myself awakening at 7:47am and can't go back to sleep. A friend of mine showed me this site the other day and I thought it was a good way to vent. Why is it when I get drunk I have the time of my life for a little bit, then I start to think of all the bad things I am going through? It may be a combination of the depressing music and books I surround myself with. I am so into my music and often identify my problems with the lyrics. As I am sure a lot of people do. My current choice would be a song called Crash and Burn. I could swear this song was written by me to my ex.

i never wanted to believe
that you could lie
that friends decieve
but here i stand, im still the same
i watched you change, you wont come back

i wonder what its like to be like you
to never really care how bad it hurts
so go ahead and lie and keep moving on
its all about yourself
and your never wrong
ill watch you crash and burn

the day is gone, its cold out
i walk alone as you fade out
i dont know why im reaching out
and now i know you wont come back

i wonder what its like to be like you
to never really care how bad it hurts
so go ahead and lie and keep moving on
its all about yourself
and your never wrong
ill watch you crash and burn

do you remember the days
way back when we used to say
nothing can change us, no one will stop us
ill never be like you
I think I could just go on forever with this. I can spend endless days bitching about things lost and things I regret. Alas, I am told this isn't healthy. I love venting to friends because everybody seems to become a self-taught therapist. You have to let the past be the past they say. How can you let the past be the past when it still haunts your dreams? Or should I say nightmares. I'd love to be a well adjusted individual like so many people I know. But the more I live the more I start to slowly realize there probably aren't that many well adjusted people out there. Just some people who hide thier problems better than others. I am one of those "wear my heart on my sleeve" types. Which ultimately is my downfall. Life is one of those things you learn as you go. I still haven't quite grasped the concept yet.