I'm so sick of forgetting myself to remember who I am.

Well my days keep getting more and more limited on here. I just don't have the desire to write in this thing anymore. A lot has been going on in my life between work and extracurricular activities. I still spend mostly everyday with the girl across the street. We did have one disagreement the other day when I got shitfaced and called her up to confess my love for her. Wow...you think I would be old enough to not drink and dial. Anyhow I straightened it out yesterday. Only a few more days until the Green Day concert and I get to see American Idiot performed in its entirety. Not like I haven't listened to the album daily since it came out. Anyhow, life is going well now that things have been straightened out. Amber wanted to stop our benefit part of our friends with benefits relationship because of my feelings. She said she doesn't want to hurt me, but I explained to her that I will be hurt no matter what. I got into this with the intention of getting hurt, there is no way not to. Plus the fact that I explained to her that this friendship won't last forever. She got a little teary eyed and when I said that and she asked why. I am only thinking logically when I told her that when she does eventually find a boyfriend, if that boyfriend doesn't happen to be me, that I am quite sure her new boyfriend won't want her hanging out with a guy that was banging her. Plus it would make me a little uneasy. I really do care for this girl quite a bit. She then told me that she wants this to last forever because she loves being with me more than anyone she knows. Which is another mystery to me, if she likes me that much why don't we put some sort of label on what we have other than friends with benefits. Maybe we can say we are seeing each other so it isn't like she is tied down, but we so sort of have something. Who knows...