I'm so sick of forgetting myself to remember who I am.

OK so if you have been reading my blogs you know the distaste I have for my ex girlfriend. Well she had recently gotten a job at Wal-Mart near my house. So i have of course avoided that place like the plague since last time I saw her and her boyfriend there some words were exchanged and I tried to tear his head off. I'm normally a calm person. I just get really particularly agitated when I see them. Well I found out yesterday some interesting news. See, when we were together I got her a place to live. It was with my sister-in-laws father. She still lives there so I find out little tid bits now and then. So I come to find out she is no longer working there. She was arrested for stealing from there. She says she was arrested for stealing greeting cards. So I did a little research on the net. She was charged with a felony, they don't do that for just greeting cards. So I dug deeper and she was arrested for grand theft...$300 to 5000 dollars worth of merchandise. Of course we don't speak anymore so I can't find out what she stole, plus she is lying about it to everyone anyway. She had to put up $1000 dollar bail which her boyfriend probably paid for with her money since he has no job. So I don't know whether ot be happy or sad for her. I mean as much trash as I talk about her, I still love her. Nobody has ever made me feel such happiness and pain at the same time. She made me feel like no other. So in a way I am sad because I know if we were still together this stuff wouldn't have happened. She probably was stealing stuff for her boyfriend anyway. She isn't really all there. Neither am I, thats why I though we were a good couple. I guess the only reason we broke up was because she listened to all her friends who said we shouldn't be together rather than listen to her heart. Since she has gone I find it difficult to listen to my heart. I listened to it when I met her and she proceeded to rip it out and stomp on it. Then picked it up and ate it for good measure. Well It was an interesting weekend. I have so far downloaded 6 seasons of Friends. At least those were the good seasons. When the show was funny. Then it started to reach a bit. Oh well, I have no life, but I am content to have no life. I enjoy my time alone. Well tomorrow I go back for my evalutaion for my disorder. Hopefully I wont get another ticket.